in this moment

it's that moment
the one that takes your breath away
your heart starts pumping
you struggle to breathe
the air
clawing it's way down your throat
like any number of the poor souls
you've tortured in your wonderful career
as Astoria Greengrass
.
you're helpless to do anything
and Astoria's not meant to be helpless
but right now
she's more helpless
than she ever was before
and that scares her
.
it's that moment when you realise that it's all going
downhill
from here
and the moment you realise
you can't do anything to stop it
.
because you know you love draco
you love him
right?
.
of course you do
of course you love him
(you have to love him)
you love him
(you just have to)
.
it's that moment
when he hesitates
the moment there's silence
just after you've said
"i love you."
.
it's that moment
when you realise he doesn't love you
and the moment you realise
you don't love him back.
.
and those helpless moments
when you know you have to love him
turn into those moments
when you feel powerful
because you'll get through this.
.
you're Astoria Greengrass
and you are not helpless.